Saturday, October 29, 2011

Sinking in

The appointment yesterday when great and was the hardest part so far. Kelli, Darin and I went together, really liked the Dr. The staff is friendly and compassionate. I can't imagine having their job.

Since a week ago Friday I have been wrestling. Not sure with what, myself, God or the Devil. Maybe a bit of each. We had decided early on that WE would worship HIM through all of this. Great thought, hard to do. I guess I am learning what it means for me to worship Him. Is it going to church, sitting through through a nice service, singing nice songs, praying and taking communion....well...yes. BUT.....

It's what you do when you wake up at two o clock in the morning and being remind yourself "YOU have cancer".

It's what you do when you wonder if you will be around long enough for your three year old to remember you.

It's what you do when you wonder what you did to get cancer at 39.

Then CHOOSE to remind yourself that

Jesus, the Name above all names, Healer, the Great I AM is also living inside me.

Jesus, the Master, the Bridegroom, loves my family even more than I do.

And remind Satan to stand behind me because I am so loved by the creator of the ALL and His angels are standing guard over me.

And I am going to step forward and

Go to MOPS, Bible Study, fellowship, pray, read the Word and WORSHIP Him because I can worry about this all next week until we get those results of those tests but it won't change a thing. But choosing to worship Him can change a lot.

Who am I going to encounter at the store, the restaurant.

Am I going to be a light?

What can I do for my

God see our past, forgives us and know what lies ahead.

Satan can only look behind and remind us of what we did wrong, what has been done to us. Yep, he can just stand behind me then because I need to receive the gift that God has granted me of peace and I can only do that if I am OPEN to receive it.

So what is with the title of this post anyway, I am sinking? well sometimes, is it starting to sink in I have cancer, yeah, kinda...but hopefully it's sinking in that I need to be shapeable, moldable, open to receive Him when all I feel like doing is shutting down. Maybe I am learning what it really means to worship?

Tuesday, October 25, 2011


We got some "news" today. A REALLY good news, kinda not good news deal.

First, I will have to have another surgery, they don't believe they got all the cancer from the breast. BUT they do believe they got ALL the cancer from the lymph nodes and that it didn't go any further. So the next step is to meet with the oncologist and get a treatment plan figured out then decide on surgery based on that. That would be the time to ad the chemo port etc.

I am actually euphoric right now. I mean really, I haven't really been able to talk to anyone except family about this, not know if I was going to be fighting for my life.


Yes, chemo is going to be hard on me, radiation is going to stink to go in each day. I might loose my hair. The holiday's this year are probably going to be hard. BUT I will most likely see Thanksgiving, Christmas and celebrate another anniversary with my wonderful husband next year! How does that song go...

"You've got to accentuate the positive
Eliminate the negative
And latch on to the affirmative
Don't mess with Mister In-Between"

We have so many friends and family asking what they can do to help. Right now, we in a holding pattern on that. It will depend on when my treatments start, how sick I will be, surgery etc. We will be putting together a calendar where you can sign up to help out if you want. Another "blessing" from this is that John and Maralee (my outlaws :) are home from traveling for awhile, that is a big boost for us!

I have had some people also give us "advice" on what we should so. There are MANY resources we have used already to get through the maze of cancer. We plan on continue to use those resources and many more. Yes, we are planning on getting a second opinion on treatment, there will be tests to see if the cancer has spread any further etc,  we really appreciate the love that people are showing us through this. THANK YOU!

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Food Therapy

Darin and I have been up and down emotionally since surgery. Just waiting to hear what treatment is going to be just makes us feel like we are in limbo, which we are, it just can't be helped. It hurts for me to type and harder to even think right now of what the road might be, chemo, how sick will I get, etc.

I am planning on going to my MIL's to stay entertained tomorrow. This was tonight's therapy. BIG thank you to Tammy, Kailey's mom for this bacon, corned beef laden, gravy laden chicken with cheesy hash browns, corn, muffins and dessert. Oh my goodness, it was good and just the carb therapy we needed tonight. Topped off with a visit from my John and Maralee (Darin's parents) helped the evening fly by. 
We will know more sometime this week, we hope, with the results from tests due back Tuesday and hopefully an appoint with the oncologist.
Also a trip to UNMC on Thursday for Zane to get a baseline, we found out this summer he has horseshoe kidney. Nothing serious but something that needs to be watched. He is a healthy and happy boy! He has been great about letting me sleep and Darin is awesome on keeping up on the housework and keeping him entertained (with a four wheeler ride so I could nap!) Please keep the prayers coming and we will know soon what we are going to be facing for sure and what help we need. Thanks so much! Love you all!

Thursday, October 20, 2011


One thing God has really shown me through the last week is how much a card, meal or a hug can mean to someone. When I get "better" I am going to be MUCH more deliberate on sending cards and showing people how much I care about them and how much I love them. I have yet to compile all the FB and email I have received. Humbled......

My "oldest" brother's family, Tim and Darla. Kids left to right is Brenna, Asa, Fulton and Graem 

Cards received and put into a book!
 A meal made by a family at church, The Koch's!
 Supper brought over to us by the neighbors and good friends Joe and Christi Arnold. Christi's dad and Darin are partners with one of the trucks they run. Great people!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Pink Out!

Wednesday nights at church have been a passion of mine for about five years. I love seeing the kids learn about Jesus and how much He loves them. We do a meal, worship service and classes for adults and youth. We have been invited someone to come speak at our church service each Wednesday night to give a testimony of something God has done in their life.

Turns out, tonight was the night that my dad came to speak. Darin, Dad, Nancy (my step mom) and I met outside and walked in together. When I walked into fellowship hall and I look around at everyone eating I realize that almost everyone is wearing pink or has a pink ribbon on their shirt or hat. It was so great! I had little ones coming up and hugging on me, hugs, questions and a few tears and a lot of "it's going to be ok", (it really is, regardless of what happens) It took my breath away. At the end of the service we circle up for prayer and they had so many prayer request for me they did a time of silent prayer for all those battling cancer and other illnesses then we passed the mic.

Please also let's pray for those that are battling cancer without support.

With my family, Living Word Church family, Free Church family, MOPS family, IHOP prayer room, Faith Lutheran church family and many other  prayer warriors praying for me


Tuesday, October 18, 2011

The story continues

A week ago.... I am at Bible Study at the Free Church, I have been going to the women's Bible study there for almost two years. It isn't my "home" church but I call Pastor Curt my "other pastor". I found this Bible Study group when I signed Zane up for Kindermusik that a member of our church had told us about. I met Jessica, I ended up getting getting put into a different class then we thought we were signing up for. The other class if full, I tell her I think that sometimes this happens for a reason so we just go with the class she has us in. Two weeks into the class, they tell me about MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) that meets at the church, asks me to come. They are having a food party. Woo hoo! I go, have a GREAT time and Dayna invites me to Bible Study that has child care. The first time I went I felt a strong presence from the Holy Spirit and have grown spiritually leaps and bounds since. More on this later....

Back to Bible study, we begin with prayer requests and then start reading in Exodus about the plagues, which is what we are studying. I get a call from a Lincoln number and have a pretty good idea who it is. I answer and it's Dr. G. My stomach does a flip. He asks me "So what happened yesterday" so I know he didn't get my message I left about the biopsy so he is checking in with me to let me know they will call with results right?

He says, lets talk, go find a place you can sit down and have privacy. He continues with "I really hate these calls but you do have cancer" WHAT? I start crying, not even sure what he is saying. I remember, hearing surgery...radiation...treatable...early. WHAT? Who are we talking about? I need to call Darin, right away...Dr G says that a nurse will call me later when it has sunk in more, call him personally if I need to talk.

I went back next door to the group and totally break down. They cry with me and pray over me. Give me words of wisdom and hope. Joan (Pastor Curt's wife) takes me to go find a pastor to help me call Darin. Pastor Curt is out of the building, Pastor Myer is on the phone, Pastor Dan is available. Joan tells him the situation and we talk and pray and he helps me call Darin. Pastor Lowell comes in, with Nan, his wife who is a breast cancer survivor. (did I mention God is very detailed). Nan tells me that they wouldn't change a thing of what they have been through Exactly what I needed to hear!!! They leave, Pastor Dan and I are figuring out what I should do next, Darin is in Weeping Water getting a load and won't be home for an hour.

I call one of my dearest friends, Shawn, tell her over the phone, something I really hated to do. We both cry more, then I hear in the hallway that Pastor is there, I am thinking Pastor Curt came back, no it's Pastor Jim, the pastor from our church. Pastor Curt had talked to Joan  then he stopped Pastor Jim in the parking lot where they were meeting for the Ministerial Association in Seward. My in-laws pastor is there and they can share with him too so he can be prepared. The sight of Pastor Jim makes me break down again and I am passed from Pastor Dan to Pastor Jim. He prays with me, gets me figured out what to do about getting Zane and getting to Shawn's house. I get to preschool (a Christian organization) and go right to director's office. Two weeks before she had given her testimony at a Wednesday night service at our home church. I share with her the news, more words of hope and she tells me that if needed they have an unusual situation of extra room if Zane needs extended care. That put my mind at ease though at the time I didn't realize the outpouring of support that would be offered to help watch Zane. Zane and I head to Shawn's house where we wait until Darin gets home. I will post another time how God has blessed me with Shawn. VERY cool story!

Update on Surgery

Surgery is at 11:00am on Friday. I will be staying overnight. Please be praying for pain relief for me. I guess when they inject the radiation, I am not under yet and it can be quite painful.

My sister will be watching Zane, probably with his cousins and will have a blast that day. From what I understand, many women go back to work on Monday after the surgery. We are supposed to know the results of the test on Tuesday.

Zane's Preschool

Zane is a social butterfly. He walks around church shaking peoples hands during sharing of the peace (by himself sometimes requiring a search and rescue to see where he ended up), chats it up with the ladies in the chiropractor office (they all know his name and call me Zane's mom), talks about my friends as if they are his friends too (Where is Shawn,is that her truck?, is Linda at church eating lunch at church today?).

I got a strong urge that I needed to send him to preschool this fall. I really dug my heels in it at first. I wasn't ready for him to go! We decided on St. John's Child Development Center and are realizing that it really was God's hand guiding us, no matter how reluctant I was about it. Here are a few things I like about it. First, Zane is being taught relationship not religion there. They let those kids know that Jesus is right there with them, leading, guiding, protecting. The teachers and staff have the relationship too, it's evident in the way they talk to the kids and how they have comforted me this past week. One of the first couple of weeks, I caught Zane holding his teacher's hand. Anyone that knows Zane, knows this isn't typical of him. He is a snuggler but not a hand holder!

This is a portion of a prayer request send out by his teacher.

"Melissa Meyer (Zane's Mom)has recently found out
that she has breast cancer. She will be having surgery this Friday and will
know more after that in regards to the stage and severity. She would greatly
appreciate your prayers at this time. Melissa has a very strong Christian support
system and is fervent in prayer herself. She knows that God is in control and
wants God to be glorified in this situation for their family."
"My prayer for you Melissa is that you will have a full recovery and be able
to enjoy your family will full gusto. I also pray that those you encounter through
this situation will see your love for our Christ and be awed by His Grace. God's
Peace be with you."

I am in awe of His grace that He would place these people in my life. I don't deserve it, no one does really, thank you Father for showing yourself through them. I am beginning to understand Your peace. Amen

Monday, October 17, 2011

Books and a pillow

My sister and I went on a little excursion today to find pink things and books. I learned a few things...First, after surgery I can't go shopping with Michelle, it will just hurt too much when we start laughing and Second....beware of the morph suits. At Paper Factory Outlet, we laughed until we cried when a mom and son came in to return his morph suit and he was wearing it. Turns out he was trying it on and the zipper got stuck, they had already spent 30 minutes trying to get it off him.

We found few pink things at Paper Factory Outlet and the American Cancer Society gave me a bunch of books to help what is going on to the kiddos and for us adults. I was also given a heart shaped pillow to use as an arm rest while I recuperate. It was made by a girl scout troop in Texas. So sweet, I can just imagine those sweet little fingers sewing it together.

So can you guess what is on it?

If you are considering an organization to donate to, they were awesome at American Cancer Society. I got a pile of books, for free. And they also have wigs and turbans in there for cancer patients (no cost). Not sure if I will need them yet but it's so nice to know I can go in someplace and get help. Also, making something like this really means a lot to the person getting it. I will cherish this forever!


Some may wondering how Zane is handling all of this.

This morning I carried him down the stairs, something I won't be able to do next week and he snuggled into me and said "Mommy, you ouwie is going to be OK!" I said "Yes it is!" He snuggled in deeper and padded my back. We sat down and talked a bit more about what is going to happen Friday. I will go to the hospital and have it taken out. Then I might have to go get medicine for awhile. I asked him who healed us. He said "JESUS!" But he also asked me where I got the ouwie. I told him I didn't know and then he asked me if I got it at the hospital when I was there last week. :)

He does have a cold now though so please pray for him too and that I don't get the cold too.

Saturday, October 15, 2011


If you go to and search for dove, they are mentioned 46 times.Doves used at sacrifice, doves sold in the marketplace, Noah sent out a dove to look for land. A dove is also a symbol used for baptisms and sign of love.

Luke 3:21-22
When all the people were being baptized, Jesus was baptized too. And as he was praying, heaven was opened and the Holy Spirit descended on him in bodily form like a dove. And a voice came from heaven: “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.” 

At the end of last week, at the same time I realized that I was going to need to call for another appointment, a pair of doves made an appearance at our house. Darin and I noticed them at separate times and commented on them.

In the night last night, it occurred to me that Jesus had sent us a sign of hope.

The pair of doves greeted us again this afternoon.

Thank you Jesus!

Friday, October 14, 2011

Good News!

Great appointment today! Love Dr Cody. So happy Kelli went with us, she is going to be going to every appt to be our advocate. They are very sure of a full recovery. It will depend on the results of the lymph node testing I get next Friday. So my fellow prayer warriors. Please pray for Dr. Cody and her team, guide her hands and her wisdom. That she can get the entire tumor in one surgery. Pray for my family and friends as they guide us through this. My mom told me that she is certain I will be ok because of all the support I am getting. Love is a pretty powerful medicine! Thank you!

How this all started....

Now, I am going to be very detailed, but you will see why when the story all comes together.

When Zane was a little over a year old, I went in for my annual and saw the APRN at Dr. Gibbons office. Peg Weber. She is an awesome lady. We were talking that I might be pregnant or nursing at my 40 year mark to start my mammograms. She said maybe I should start sooner so it all taken care of and it doesn't get put off. So I went in the next week, had to go back again because they saw some stuff they didn't like on the right side. So another exam to take a close look. And then another mammogram every six months. I think that went on for 18 months then last December they determined an all clear, the spots hadn't changed in that time period, I could go every year. So I had my last exam last December.

Labor Day weekend, I started to get a strong burning sensation in my right breast. When I checked it out I realized I had lumps all over. Weird! I thought I had mastitis, exactly what it felt like. I called the Dr's office and got an appt for Tuesday. I went in they felt around, we did some talking and the determined that it was from a fall I had a few months before with Klu. Yes, Klu the wonder horse fell while I was riding him and I slammed into the driveway on my right side had a concussion and a bruised shoulder the Dr thought that this was bruising and swelling due to that. Now we are a month later,  the burning was back and the lump felt bigger. And, I had a bad feeling about it.

Called Friday, missed the call back but the nurse left a message that yes, he does want to see me. I called back on Monday and was passed around a bit, we have to call you back, maybe we can help you over the phone. Around ten they say, yes come in we have hardly any patients here today. Well that is unheard of in this office, they are VERY busy there. Just want to add, if they were going to "help" me over the phone I was calling another office. Dropped Zane off with Darin because it just happened to rain the night before and Darin was at home catching up on odds and ends.

I get to the office, go through all the info, yep I was just in here etc. He examined me and said he really thought that it was from my fall. I gave him a weird look (I really like this Dr. I like to give him a hard time) and he said what, you don't think so, I said nope, something is going on. So they called Bryan West to schedule a mammogram for me and it just happened that there was an opening at two. They also scheduled an appt with Dr. Cody the next Tuesday to talk about a biopsy.

So after some Raising Canes and a little retail therapy I headed there. Got  the mammogram done. I have to mention how totally awesome I think these techs are. Also, I have been to Bryan West A LOT lately. End of June for my fall, last week for a kidney stone and now this. Great care each time.

So next  they said they wanted to next do an ultra sound. During the ultra sound I saw she was measuring something on the screen like when I had these done with Zane. So I wasn't imagining this? She went to take this to the radiologist to look at. So I wait, and then in walks the radiologist. In all the times I had been in the hospital lately I have never "seen the radiologist"  all I can think is "oh great". He asks if they can do a biopsy while I am there if they can find a nurse to assist. Sure, then I don't have to make an appt and find another sitter right?

I get the biopsy done, not going to go into great detail on this but yes it hurt but something quickly forgotten! They send me home with the assurance I will get news by Thursday. On my way home, while holding my right boob and wondering if people think I am crazy, I drive home the half hour drive with a dead cell phone and no charger. (details, details, details)  And then words to a song pop into my head. Of course a Gaither song, what else would have heard over and over again as my dad worked outside or as he is driving around?

"Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, there is something about that name. Kings and kingdoms, will all pass away, there is something about that name."

From Monday night through Wednesday morning, when I woke when I drove this song was in my head!

Here is the lyrics to the song, I guess I had the ones in my head I needed to hear though they weren't in order. I am going to leave this post like this for now and will add more later. We are getting ready to pick up my SIL to head to Dr. Cody's office. Pray for us!

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus 
There's just something about that name
Master, Saviour, Jesus
Like the fragrance after the rain
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus
Let all Heaven and Earth proclaim
Kings and kingdoms
Will all pass away
But there's something about that Name.

Thursday, October 13, 2011


There are five of us "kids" in the family. 

Ty called me today and of course made me cry (he always does, but in a good way) Ty understands me, he should, my mom says I am the female version of Ty. And how I have missed him since he has moved! He needed to know the facts and of course, If you need me, yep I did and he called during my only major meltdown of the day. (Did I mention God is very detailed?)

Michelle, the organizer, finding out info, rallying for support, working on the "education" portion and her husband Tony for supporting her, she will need it!.

Todd and Kelli (Kelli is Todd's wife and Darin's sister, yeah, it's all legal) going to the appointment with us tomorrow, she is an ICU nurse at the same hospital. Talked to her tonight so we could make a plan for tomorrow. She said Todd is going to get a pink shirt to wear for me. Yep, that got me too.

Tim and Darla, these are the prayer warriors. Darla really gets me, more on this later, she really plays into the "story" of yesterday. But this says it all. Thank you family I love you so much and thank you God for giving me the family I have, warts (and cancer) and all.

Sent by Tim on my behalf, received to warriors ALL over the country and thru out the nations.
Blessings Dear Friends,

My youngest sister, Melissa (not yet 40 years old if I have the dates right), has discovered in the past couple of days that she has breast cancer. She had a routine Mammogram this past December and all was clear.  She noticed a lump about a month ago and just this week had a biopsy on the lump and some lymph glands as well.  The Dr's were surprised and although it is early to say, they are thinking that it has been caught at an early stage.  Treatment has not yet been settled but first they will remove the lump.  The Dr has a positive outlook and is hopeful to getting all of the cancer.   When she got the phone call she was at her Bible study at church. There also "happened" to be several pastors there to pray for her as well as the ladies in her Bible study.  God has and is covering the details. 
When considering the God-given medical resources we have in America, we are full of hope.  And even more importantly, considering now that this disease affecting my sister has a name (breast cancer), that 'name' must bow the the Name above ALL Names. 

Please join with us in praying for Melissa, Darin her husband, Kailey (15) and Zane, their 3 year old son. 

Thanks so much for praying!!  You already know, but I'll remind you that your prayers certainly do matter!!


The new journey begins

After "the news" a few of my fellow prayer warriors suggested I journal my experience. Yeah, much like I journaled while pregnant with Zane (the book is empty...completely empty) I started a journal, in another book, that was going to chronicle his first year. There is about a page in it. But one thing I know for sure, I won't be the same again. As my sister Darla said yesterday, there is no testimony without a test. That hit home, the last couple of weeks I have been praying that God would reveal a testimony to me that I could share at our Wednesday night services. After talking to Darla, Darin came home from running a errand and before I could share the incredible insight from Darla (there is more!) he said, "Mel, this is a test of faith". Yep, we have chosen to worship HIM in this. But I am getting ahead of myself. The last 24 hours has been incredible, heartbreaking, life changing, eye opening and He is revealing to us in amazing clarity in our hearts even though our eyes are blurry from lack of sleep and tears, His will for us and "the plan". As time allows, I will be posting on the events that brought us to this day. More to come......